"Toys for Cops"
(News for 12/8/03)
Crafty Old Saint
(To the tune of
"Jolly Old Saint Nicholas")
Crafty old Saint Mark Shurtleff,
Push your bill this day,
Don't you tell a single soul,
What they'll have to pay,
Admin wants their SUVs,
Chief, he wants a house,
Feds just want to strip folks' rights,
Quiet as a mouse.
Yes, we'll seize and confiscate,
Incentives are a must,
Forget about the innocent,
And cops who are unjust,
SB 31 was killed,
Now you dear old man,
Campaign bucks don't come for free,
Get Hillyard off his can.
Summary: Just in time for
the holidays, General Shurtleff announces his latest welfare
program, "Toys for Cops," again using his position to lobby
for corrupt special interests.
Last year, Shurtleff attempted
to destroy the innocent property owner protections instituted
by Initiative B (passed by 69 percent of Utah voters in 2000).
He enlisted the help of Sen. John Valentine, and together they
secretly crafted Senate Bill 31
a brief bill assessment in .pdf format or see our
Issue in Focus).
Sen. Valentine quickly backed
away after more than 100 angry constituents confronted him at
a town meeting in his neighborhood.
Still determined to defy the
people and the Constitution, Shurtleff then recruited Sen.
Lyle Hillyard and organized a press conference on the Capitol
steps — with even less
success. Sen. Hillyard promptly abandoned the effort and
ran for cover (read
a first-hand account).
According to the
Salt Lake Tribune, Shurtleff and Hillyard have
announced their bold plans to perhaps —
maybe — try again.
Citizens can tentatively look forward to another round of
bills and substitutions drafted by bureaucrats in secrecy,
distortions of the truth, and attacks on their fundamental
rights to own property and receive due process.
In the Yuletide spirit, we
encourage you to call General Shurtleff and Sen. Hillyard and hear
their rationalizations and excuses for yourself. Compare
their words with the bill language they will attempt to stuff in your
Attorney General Mark Shurtleff:
Main number: (801) 538-9600
Main fax: (801) 538-1121
Main e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
Senator Lyle Hillyard:
For more information on this
ongoing circus, see the
Property Rights section of our Issues & Alerts page, as
well as our
Flounders Quotes page, featuring other delightful
admissions by Shurtleff and his little helpers.
If you have comments or
suggestions, please email us at